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She’s trying to prove that she’s closer to my children than I am, but the joke’s on her, because she doesn’t know how little I care for GOB. I’ll sacrifice anything for my children. Yes, Annyong. Your name is Annyong! We all know you’re Annyong! I’m gonna go get sexy. Don’t leave your Uncle T-bag hanging. I prematurely shot my wad on what was supposed to be a dry run, so now I’m afraid I have something of a mess on my hands. Or it could be your colon. I’d want to get in there and find some answers.

George Michael may be suffering from what we in the soft-sciences call Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, or the “OC Disorder.” I’m sure Egg is a great person. If I wanted something your thumb touched I’d eat the inside of your ear. But I did finally get into Dad’s pants. Although I had to have the crotch taken in a little bit. Buster’s in what we like to call a light to no coma. In laymans terms, it might be considered a very heavy nap. Operation Hot Mother. One of the guys told me to take my head out of my BOTTOM and get back to work…my BOTTOM!

There’s a new daddy in town. A discipline daddy. No, I was ashamed to be SEEN with you. I like being with you. She’s not ‘that Mexican’, Mom. She’s my Mexican. And she’s Colombian or something. What’s next, Michael? Are you going to make dancing illegal? Is this the tiny town from Footloose? How about a turtle? I’ve always loved those leathery little snappy faces. Now, do you wanna steer, or are you too old to sit on your Pop’s lap and drive?

I think that’s one of Mom’s little fibs, you know, like I’ll sacrifice anything for my children. She keeps saying that God is going to show me a sign. The… something of my ways. Wisdom? They want to break his legs. It’s a good thing he’s already got that little scooter. How about a turtle? I’ve always loved those leathery little snappy faces. Oh, yeah, the $4,000 suit is holding the elevator for a guy who doesn’t make that in 3 months. Come on! Chickens don’t clap! If this were a Lifetime Moment of Truth movie, this would be our act break. But it wasn’t.

Caw ca caw, caw ca caw, caw ca caw, caw ca caw. A flower in my garden, a mystery in my panties. I’d rather be dead in California than alive in Arizona.